he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
