i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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