I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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