Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
