shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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