I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we're making bets on your personal life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
