I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
