So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
