you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
