he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
