You work out of a Hotel?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
