He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
