Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
