There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
