i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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