it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
