dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
