If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
