Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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