every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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