I think I died a long time ago.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
