Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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