Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hippo gnu deer
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
His nipple licking is glorious
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