I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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