if only i could text you this smell
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
