so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
