Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
