all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
