my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
