I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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