too bad you live with your parents still
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
