You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
