yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
