I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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