It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
