Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Two words: blizzard sex
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