but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
