69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
