we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
