hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
