"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
