All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
...so i touched it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
