Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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