No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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