I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
