i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
