My cat gives me a boner
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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