Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
