i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
