next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
as a side note pls kill me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
